beth castillo

A Beautiful Letdown

it was a beautiful letdown
when I crashed and burned

when I found myself alone unknown and hurt

it was a beautiful letdown 

the day I knew

that all the riches this world had to offer me

would never do
..Switchfoot

I long to do what is right. In every small moment I want so badly to pay attention to my own life and to what Im doing. I want to notice and respond creatively to my family and friends' needs. to fight and kill anxious thoughts. to act bravely and not like a coward. to show the world who Jesus is through my actions and words.

A whole day goes by and I've not turned to God with any of the unexpected, rude comments from my coworkers, with the tiredness I felt, or with the whirlwind in my mind when Im trying to finish projects. When I see my husband, I'm thinking of my anxieties and forget to greet him with full attention and love. I fail. Im bored, worried, irritable, and controlling. I feel overwhelmed by missed opportunities. This is so discouraging because my heart longs for something better.

finally He said to me, “My grace is enough to cover and sustain you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” So ask me about my thorn, inquire about my weaknesses, and I will gladly go on and on—I would rather stake my claim in these and have the power of the Anointed One at home within me.
..2 Corinthians 12:9

...amen!!!! I feel God's grace as a powerful jet of water blasting away filth. my failures become beautiful to me because they reveal a deeper foundation I didn't see when I relied on myself. A human cannot be perfect. It's beyond beautiful that God's strength comes while we're failing. That's why He is God.

I simply become so grateful for His peace and power that instead of becoming depressed about continual mistakes, I take peace in knowing He's going to work in me to help me do the right thing. I immediately ask His forgiveness and move on in joy. this simply changes my entire pattern of being alive on this earth.

With all I have, I pray I'm continually let down.

Of one thing I am certain: my soul has become calm, quiet, and contented in You.

Like a weaned child resting upon his mother, I am quiet.

My soul is like this weaned child.

Oh Israel, stake your trust completely in the Eternal—

from this very moment and into the vast future.

..Psalm 131:2-3